In this episode, Dr. Jones speaks with Brittany O\u2019Malley about the importance of defining wellness for yourself and how to overcome \u201cGrind Culture.\u201d The episode references following campus resources: Longhorns for a Culturally Competent Campus, Longhorn Wellness Center, University Health Services, and the Counseling & Mental Health Center.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In this episode, Dr. Jones speaks with Brittany O\u2019Malley about the importance of defining wellness for yourself and how to overcome \u201cGrind Culture.\u201d The episode references following campus resources: Longhorns for a Culturally Competent Campus, Longhorn Wellness Center, University Health Services, and the Counseling & Mental Health Center.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"http:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/24\/2020\/09\/2020-08-03_L-I-V-E_Episode-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"62.63M","filesize_raw":"65668448","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":""},"tags":[586,587,19,45,584,583],"series":[2],"class_list":{"0":"post-95","1":"podcast","2":"type-podcast","3":"status-publish","5":"tag-graduate-school","6":"tag-grind-culture","7":"tag-leadership","8":"tag-live","9":"tag-self-care","10":"tag-wellness","11":"series-live","12":"entry"},"acf":{"related_episodes":"","hosts":[{"ID":68,"post_author":"39","post_date":"2020-07-20 20:29:28","post_date_gmt":"2020-07-20 20:29:28","post_content":"","post_title":"Dr. Brandon Jones","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"dr-brandon-jones","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-07-20 20:33:17","post_modified_gmt":"2020-07-20 20:33:17","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/?post_type=speaker&p=68","menu_order":0,"post_type":"speaker","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"guests":[{"ID":122,"post_author":"19","post_date":"2020-11-12 18:49:08","post_date_gmt":"2020-11-12 18:49:08","post_content":"\n
Brittany (she\/her\/hers) completed her undergraduate degree at Beloit College in Wisconsin and went on to earn a Master of Public Health degree from The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. In her role as Manager, she oversees the implementation of evidence-based approaches to address priority health issues on campus. Outside of UT, Brittany enjoys cooking, spending time with her husband and kitties, and playing kickball!<\/p>\n","post_title":"Britanny O' Malley","post_excerpt":"","post_status":"publish","comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","post_password":"","post_name":"britanny-o-malley","to_ping":"","pinged":"","post_modified":"2020-11-12 18:50:33","post_modified_gmt":"2020-11-12 18:50:33","post_content_filtered":"","post_parent":0,"guid":"http:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/?post_type=speaker&p=122","menu_order":0,"post_type":"speaker","post_mime_type":"","comment_count":"0","filter":"raw"}],"Transcript":"
[0:00:04 Speaker 0] mhm. Welcome to live leadership, innovation, ventures and entrepreneurship. Ah, podcast that showcases the talents, skills and abilities of U. T. Faculty, staff and students. I’m your host, Brandon Jones, associate director for student learning and development in housing and dining. And we’re excited to have you listening to us. You welcome everybody to the ninth episode of Live, which stands for leadership, innovation, ventures and entrepreneurship. In this podcast is brought to you by university, housing and dining. I’m your host, Brandon Jones, associate director for, uh, student learning and development in university housing and dining. And today you have a very, very, very special guest with us. Her name is Brittney O’Malley, and Britney is the assistant director of prevention for university health Services and also the Counseling and Mental Health Center and has the primary role off overseeing the Longhorn Wellness Center. And so we’re very excited to have Britney with this Britney, how you doing this morning? I’m doing really well. Good to have you. I’m really excited for those of you that don’t know I have a wonderful relationship with Britney. I missed working in the building across the street from Britney over and over by Kinsolving. I really miss being able to just walk over and have some impromptu coffee and conversations. I’m really missing that. I really missed being able to do that with you.<\/p>\n
[0:01:38 Speaker 1] Me to the Littlefield coffee conversations where anything can happen,<\/p>\n
[0:01:42 Speaker 0] Change the world, right way Thought of some pretty cool things. And so the other day when we were meeting, uh, audience the other day, when we were meeting we came. I came up with the idea toe, have Britney on the show and one of the reasons why I wanted to invite Britney on the show for those of you who are listening is, um, it’s back to school season, whether you’re in K 12 or whether you are in higher education, everybody’s going back to school virtually in person. In some cases, some people have transitioned from in person to remote within a week of opening, and, uh, that’s happening all over the country. And so right now, this concept of wellness, especially in the pandemic, has taken on a new meaning. And I felt like it was very important for us, especially for our new incoming freshmen and transfer students on our faculty and staff who may be listening to the show. Thio really get an understanding of what wellness is on some things that we can do some practical steps that we can take to really focus on what we’re calling self care. I wanna make sure we go there today. But before we dive into all that, can you tell the audience a little bit about yourself? Let us know who you are, where you where you’re from. Your background experience is all that good stuff?<\/p>\n
[0:03:01 Speaker 1] Sure, Yeah. I’m really excited to be here and talk about all that. It’s a little bit about me. I grew up in the Midwest. I actually grew up in Iowa s o shout out to all the Midwesterners. We’re listening. I went to a really tiny liberal arts college in Wisconsin Beloit College. Very Ah, very unique. The when I started there. The tagline for that when they were recruiting was invent yourself, which was part of what drew me in there. Um, I moved to North Carolina. When I finish undergrad. I actually worked in housing, so I have That’s I think, where you and I get along as I a long, long, long, long long time ago, I had a about a year and a half of being whole director on. Got to kind of see that side. And that was because I was in our A when I was in college and had a lot of experience in student life and leadership. And, um, so finishing undergrad. I got a job at a small women’s college in North Carolina and got toe work with some really amazing folks there. Andi also realized that that maybe wasn’t where I was in a head for my whole career on DSO ended up. I’d always been interested in health and well being and healing what? What helps people heal. But I knew I wasn’t called for medical service, that there is a lot involved in that financially and emotionally and intelligence wise. And I just felt like that wasn’t me on Ben. So I started graduate school, actually for public health at UNC Chapel Hill. I went there, which was really great, because for me, public health is this really, um, great field, where it’s both about understanding individual behavior change, like why we make the health decisions we make and what influences that, but also public health is about population level change, which is about understanding, culture and understanding, you know, social determinants of health and understand how our physical environment impacts health and how making changes there can have great great impact on those individual level, um, folks. And so for me, it was a great calling. And I’ve always considered myself in generalists like, I like to know a little bit about a lot of things. So I went to school. Some really, really great people who focused in on, you know, say, sexual health or, um, you know, global health research or things like that. I really have always loved to know about a lot of things. Um, And while I was in graduate school there, I actually started working. And the what was their wellness office as a graduate student, a time I was working in focusing on substance use prevention are missing these prevention. And, uh and that’s how I kind of found that I could meld the love I had for having worked in higher Ed. And the love I had of health was that there were offices that existed on campus. Is that sole purpose was to help people improve their well being and help campuses improved well being for the people in their communities on DSO from there, I’ve kind of journeying through that I’ve worked at a few different institutions and started in my role at UT about 2.5 years ago. So and U. T is by far the largest campus. So I always say, in my career I’ve worked on a campus, the smallest 750 students now all the way up to U T. So I’ve really seen a lot of different communities. Yeah,<\/p>\n
[0:06:23 Speaker 0] that’s awesome. You got you opened up so many doors that we could talk about in this conversation today, So I’m really excited to dive in. I want to just go ahead and jump right into what we were talking about the other day. When it comes to a wellness, I think that there’s there’s a lot of conversation about this, and especially among students that I interact with on a regular basis, like when we talk about wellness. Typically, what we find is that a lot of people are focused mainly mainly on either the dietary and the nutritional side of it, or the physical health, meaning? I’m gonna be in the gym. I want to do CrossFit I wanna do Camp Gladiator. But there’s so much Mauritz a wellness and I just want you to tell us what do you what is when we talk about wellness from a holistic standpoint? What does that really mean? To be t focused and centered on wellness?<\/p>\n
[0:07:17 Speaker 1] Yeah, I got that. Such a big question. I could answer that 100 ways. Um, you know, I think the first thing that comes to mind is that it is there are so many aspects of well being at an individual level, right, there is your physical health, which is yeah, the food you eat and how you move your body, but also is about sleep and, you know, going into the doctor when you’re sick or when you’re not sick or you know, those practices. Right now it’s very much about about physical health, right? Like social distancing and washing your hands and things like that, but that there’s so much that is also about our mental and emotional health. And I also love thinking about social health and well being, you know, relationships we have and how much they feed us or don’t, um, and how even, you know, a lot of places. And I consider myself one of those folks consider financial well being as part<\/p>\n
[0:08:08 Speaker 0] of it<\/p>\n
[0:08:08 Speaker 1] because it impacts those other areas. And to me, the holistic part of it is that you can’t really pull a thread without pulling the others right. Andi think that that’s where some people get a lot of, um, good feelings about their health and well being when they do commit to something like exercise right, because it makes them feel good, you know, and they feel it. But they don’t just feel it in their legs and their body right, like they feel that that that mood boost, they feel satisfied with themselves because they’ve committed to something and they’re following through. And I think that that’s where I’ve always been passionate about the holistic pieces like it’s really a ball of all these different threads woven together. That’s your well being, Um, and sometimes you do need to nurture a little bit of one area over another, But sometimes it’s about kind of exploring. What are those different aspects mean to you? Um, and so I think at the individual level, that’s very much kind of how I approach holistic. I also think part of holistic well being is all those up. Other factors that aren’t just about your individual decisions, right? That I mean, do you have access to food? That’s good for you? Do you have? Do you feel safe in your community? Do you? You know, do you have? Do you have relationships or people you trust to mentor you or guide you? I know that that’s a big part of what we do in leadership development, right is helping people connect to each other. Um and so I think that that’s also part of holistic is that you’re also able to see those dynamics between yourself and your environment, your culture, and vice versa. How does that culture promote or detract from your well being?<\/p>\n
[0:09:41 Speaker 0] So you tackled a lot right there, and I love when you said, exploring what each of these areas the physical, the social, the mental and the financial exploring what that means for you. But I wanna thread that in with something earlier. That I think it’s so important is when you talked about culture and a Z, you know, here at UT were really big on intercultural competence. The ability to communicate cross culturally to engage difference and bridge those commonalities. Right? Um, what role does culture play in? You know, in this area that we’re talking about with wellness, like important is understanding that<\/p>\n
[0:10:22 Speaker 1] I mean, I think it’s huge, right? And part of why I’m really passionate working in an office that works on, like prevention, which was a big word to say. We’re looking upstream, right? We’re not just always looking at reacting or changing things because they have to, but really saying, like, what’s what’s impacting our community around well being, Um, So I think culture is huge, and I think that could be you know, when I talk about it, you know, I’m a public health theory. Nerds sue. So I could, like, break it down on the theory world. But like the social ecological framework is really, I think, the most relatable way to understand it, Which is to say, culture is everything from policy and law and like that really big kind of over. And that could be policy and a residence hall too, right? Or it could be the Texas State law. Um, there’s also this, like, kind of organizational or community level right, which could be R UT campus. But it might also be were in Austin. And this is there’s a lot of unique factors that plan to what are campus community looks like. And then organizations, I think on a college campus matter because we have these, like groups or pods that are really influential in how we’re making decisions, how we’re navigating things, what access to resources we might have if we’re in a specific organization or role for in a You know, if we have a really great resolve floor for living in an off campus apartment with just informal group of friends, like those factors are part of culture, right? Like your culture that you experience all the way up to, like living in America in this moment in time and all those things and that I mean, I think you said in the beginning that right now people are really thinking about their well being in a different way because we’re this, like time, where it’s really hard. Thio Thio be well and to think about it and that to me is so much about culture, Andi, I think even a global pandemic is impacting our culture, right? I think a long term way we think about a lot of different health behaviors in social connection is gonna change. Um, for a long, long time after this. Andi, I think our need Like I think we all knew we needed people before this. But boy, do you. I realized I need some people now, like in a different way. And I think that that’s again that reflection on, like, how is this changing for me in different times is part of wellness, right? Like recognizing that in myself that call and need and then be like It doesn’t look the same. How can I change what I do? Or maybe I want to be bigger? And how can I help change how others air interacting? So we’re all healthier?<\/p>\n
[0:12:53 Speaker 0] Yeah. And you said something else in there with the individual behavior change, right? And so, in our longhorns for a culturally confident campus workshop, that’s one of things you talk about is it’s about you. But it’s not about you. It’s about it’s about you recognizing your own culture and your own background and your own experiences and the things that you bring, uh, to the to the table that we often talk about. And what happens is that a lot of students participate in these experiences and they say, Well, I want to learn about other people’s cultures and it’s like, Well, that’s, ah good byproduct of this experience if that happens, But the goal is for you to increase your self awareness enoughto where you could make that change in that behavioral change in a way that that makes the difference. That makes the difference right When we talk about diversity, right when you when you’re talking about individual behavior change, what are some examples within that within those domains of wellness that you talked about the physical, the social, the mental, the financial? What are some of those? What are some like one or two examples of individual behavior changes that a first year college student, for example, uh, could do whether they’re here at UT or whether they’re listening to the show remotely back home anywhere in the world right now? What advice would you give to those students?<\/p>\n
[0:14:16 Speaker 1] Yeah, you know, first year of college is so interesting because and part of why I love working on college campuses because there’s this period of time that’s incredibly transformative, right? And and whether that’s a community college experience or whether that’s a four year more traditional, whether you’re starting when you’re 30 or you’re starting when you’re 18, you know, like that’s the beginning of a journey. And I think part of that has to do with this idea of like learning the amount of learning you’re doing both in the classroom, but also like, out of the classroom as much influence of meeting all these people that you’ve never interacted before and understand that they’ve come from this totally different experience or learning what it is to be a leader, because you’re all of a sudden enrolls that you’ve never been in before or I think, health wise being more of an agent of your own health for maybe the first time. You know, if you’re, you know, more traditional college age student of like 18, you know, like that. That might be the first time someone not reminding you to go to the dentist or or that yeah, right. Or maybe you’ve had a previous experiences say around like choosing to drink or not drink, but in college maybe looks and feels different. And so now you’re faced with a different kind of decision making there, Um and I think stress, you know, because I think that that’s something that it doesn’t matter. I think that there’s this increasing kind of mental load that is happening before campus. But then when you get there where you’re having to adjust your routine, how you prioritize your time, you know, like who you’re friends with, how you socialize like you’re making all these things and there’s a load there that you come in. And so I think when I think for first year students, I think it’s like, First of all, like totally normalizing. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes in that first year, because it’s really transforming time, and part of transforming is kind of letting go of some things and then feeling a little weird about that. But I think starting to recognize what works for you when you are feeling those times of feeling lost or disconnected or overwhelmed by change, for stressed out, like starting to figure out and cultivate Early on in your college experience practices that help feed you right? And that’s part of that self awareness right of like, what do I know about myself that feeds me like, what do I know? And that doesn’t look the same for everyone, right? That’s your roommate. You know, my husband and I like the way that we need to recharge looks different and knowing it and then respecting that about yourself and listening to that<\/p>\n
[0:16:58 Speaker 0] I don’t wanna lose that I don’t wanna because one of the things that happens and I talk about this I I use the concept When I when I talk to student groups, I tell them to mind their DS and FS the things that deplete them and the things that because Because I spent the majority of my career, I spent the majority of my career working in academic support services. And so when I was talking to the singer group earlier in the year, I was telling them like Look, you gotta pay attention to those things that drain you and those things that fill you up the D s and the F, and you gotta do a lot more of those things uh, that fill you up and know what those things are. And so for me, that was video game time. I didn’t play video games during the week in college because I’m a video game nerd. Folks can’t see it, But I’m aiming computer chair right here in my my home and, you know, my kids and my family know that is that’s dad’s charge time. This is what I do, and that’s always been my thing. And so I would I would look forward to those moments where I could do that. But I’m noticing at schools, especially like UT, where you’re already admitting this. Aziz, my colleagues, my former colleague Doug Reynolds used to say these impressively cerebral students, right, smart and no. Ah, lot. And But when it comes to recharging, so many of them project their happiness and they’re recharging into future dates, and it’s like I’m just gonna suffer for four years, and then when I graduate, I’ll make money and it’s like, How do you plan to survive four years like, Do you know how many weekends are in that four year time? Do you know how many days of school is like? Why would you project that? Can you talk about this? Can you just kind of come back to that point of the knowing what recharges you and how toe put that in your, um, daily or weekly routine? Because I know this is a struggle for freshman. Yeah, classman<\/p>\n
[0:19:00 Speaker 1] on. And you know what graduate students like? I hear that so much when I worked with graduate students is like, it’s just two years. I just have to get through it or like this, you know, feeling this miserable is just part of getting a PhD right like it is. It is like, I think it’s one of those we don’t realize it’s such a universal kind of experience. And I think that comes a lot, especially when we’re working at kind of elite institutions and high achieving. Um, it’s really in great in us Super early on in our culture, talk about culture right to like this, like culture, busy of like dizziness and productivity mean you’re more valuable, um, and so Thio accomplish that you have to sacrifice things. It’s a lot of what we’re taught to sacrifice. Is this idea of, like, you know, pushing back that thing that recharges you or fills you up for later, right? I have tow. I’ll pencil self care and later on, right? Like, yeah, when I think like the you know and again it looks different for everyone. So I can’t give it a universal like solution to say, How do you build this in? But I think helping let go of what we perceive as self care and wellness as this luxury. This idea of its on Lee for people who have the luxury to have time for it. Um, letting go of the fact that it needs a ton of time I have. The only way I could recharge is if I have a whole day or a half day sometimes don’t get me wrong. Sometimes you need a day or a week, you know, like sometimes you do need to step back and take a break, but that they’re also, like, different. There’s five minute practices, right? There’s hours and that there might be an hour in the day or there might be a time regular like No, that’s not gonna cut it. I do need to take a day off and step back and like<\/p>\n
[0:20:48 Speaker 0] like that what you’re saying right there for a second. You’re talking about these micro practices because I think you brought into and definitely as you’re going through this. I definitely want you to talk about grind culture because<\/p>\n
[0:21:01 Speaker 1] you’re<\/p>\n
[0:21:01 Speaker 0] totally going in that direction, and I don’t want you to lose that. Come back to it. But these micro practices, let’s talk about that because as you said that we bought into this mindset that I don’t because I don’t have time. If I can’t block out a whole day, then I’m not going to recharge. And that’s not true. There are so many small things that you can do over the course of the day that ultimately will will leave you less depleted throughout the day, talk about some of the getting and definitely share some examples. Yeah, with with all of us, because I think that during this pandemic there’s that grind culture right there is that we’ve got to excel no matter what, and you’re not really successful. If you don’t come out on the other side of this pandemic. Having written five books and starting a major motion picture,<\/p>\n
[0:21:50 Speaker 1] right, you didn’t start your own business plant a whole garden. You know, You like read 18 books? Yeah. You know, I think about this a lot. And the micro practices connected, I promise. But I think a lot about this within the pandemic, because I think that I’ve had conversations with a great friend, a mentor of mine, About how there for a while was this leaning into slow things again. You know, people baking bread or people growing things or people like there was something that allowed us in this space to, like, lean in a little to the things that take a little longer and are very slow. And I think that’s now been kind of countered by sometimes time feeling like it’s speeding up. And so maybe there’s this poll of stillness. So one practice that I have appreciated this is me. Speaking for me is finding moments of stillness intentionally like a a moment of stillness. And now that could be your riding a bus. Right? Well, now, right, Very carefully. Socially distance riding a bus. But in three times, maybe you’re taking the bus to campus for a class. Um, instead of scrolling on your phone the whole time, maybe a little bit, you know, or listening to music. Maybe you just take a minute and you just like, put your hands on your lap and you’re just like, take a couple breaths and you’re just still for a minute. And then you pick your phone back up and you check Facebook or whatever you know, But like that intentional practice of giving yourself five seconds, right?<\/p>\n
[0:23:20 Speaker 0] Just scared somebody and buy something.<\/p>\n
[0:23:22 Speaker 1] Oh, it scares me. That’s why I’m mentioning it, right?<\/p>\n
[0:23:27 Speaker 0] You tell me to stop when the grind culture says I gotta have outlook on every device I own, I got a message is walking across campus responding the text messages. And sometimes it’s student affairs were supposed to be the holistic people, right? But if we’re not careful, we can be the biggest perpetuators off this grind culture. I think that Dr Lily has done a great job of reminding us, Thio Hey, take a step back. I think Dr Tie is over here in housing and dining for like checking in on us and sending text messages saying like, Hey, notice that you’ve been put burning the midnight oil here. You got some vacation time come and she’ll call meetings, shout out to Dr T. She’ll ask you like e love that you’ve been here like what’s going on? So yeah, definitely wanna make sure that we highlight e<\/p>\n
[0:24:20 Speaker 1] think that there’s something to in that and that we are in a helping feel like we’re all here because of students, right? And we want to give ourselves and that you know, in some ways we talk about things that recharge you, incomplete you Sometimes they can be the same thing like that. Committing yourselves to like supporting students, for example, could be something that totally feeds us and keeps us going. Day to day can also be the thing that makes it really hard for us to put ourselves first. And I think that that’s the same for students. Right, Like you are there committing yourself to your passions, to your learning, to your friends, to your family, and it can make it really hard. And I think you used the word guilt earlier, like make you feel some yelp and and, you know, I think that when you talk about little other micro practices, I think the best thing that we already practice doing is that. You know that saying, like, talk to yourself the way you talk to your best friend, like starting to shift your thought from. I’m so selfish for wanting the five minutes, you know, or this too. You’ve done a lot this week, and you’ve given a lot like, good job self like you. Actually, you did give You should give yourself this time because your friend probably is going to do that. Um and I have This is my other, like, thinking about being in such a competitive environment that starts again before college. I think is there is this stress competition that’s kind of become normalized. I’m talking about like that. Your eye over here, these conversations a lot with students on campus. But I actually hear it with colleagues to write like, Oh, my gosh, I’ve been working 50 hours a week or for students. I’ve pulled two all nighters in a row, and then the next person goes, I know I’ve worked 60 hours or the next person goes I know I’m on my third all nighter, right, and you’re, like, one upping each other somehow instead of I always say, like something you could challenge yourself to do is when you hear someone lead with something like that, right instead of they going to What’s my Yeah, me, too. I’m they’re stopping. Being like, Wow, that must be really tiring. You must be tired. Do you feel tired? You know, like or how are you feeling about that? You know, like stopping the conversation from elevating the stress toe, like stopping to make it a minute a check in because I bet that person’s gonna feel really heard and understood, which makes them feel good. And then you’re gonna feel that back, and it actually makes you feel good. And that’s one of those great interpersonal moments I think is like, Why you appreciate Dr Titus like giving you that check in is because it’s like a recognition that your energy and your well being is valuable. Um, it’s not a commodity, right? Like it’s not about depleting it. It’s valuable<\/p>\n
[0:27:04 Speaker 0] pause for a second. I gotta let that<\/p>\n
[0:27:06 Speaker 1] Yeah, let’s pause like saying it.<\/p>\n
[0:27:08 Speaker 0] Yeah, that right there that, uh, that therapy I didn’t know I needed today. Like you got a little micro therapy going on here. Thank. That’s wonderful, because I think that. I wish we spent more time encouraging that in high schools. I wish we spent more time encouraging that, um, do throughout this This this This, um the college experience, especially the first year, because, you know, to get into places like U T. And you know, I’ve worked at Clemson University. Just changed orange three times, basically. But one thing I’ve noticed eyes that, you know, like from ninth grade on it’s the e. Remember these conversations that they give you? You know, I got a kid on mentoring, uh, high school here, here in the area and one of things that they tell you that everything counts now. Good luck. And it’s like, Wait, they don’t Really 15 year old 14, 15 year old kid really don’t need that stress right now, but there’s that added pressure of Yeah, everything does count all my test that’s going to count towards my GP a, These absences, all that stuff. I’m trying to go to a school like UT, you know, if I’m gonna compete, yeah, right. And I’m gonna be in every student organization. I need all the extracurriculars,<\/p>\n
[0:28:28 Speaker 1] and you get rewarded for it to, right? Like you do get in, right, you get in, you get to school. And so it feels like all that. In the long term. You kind of get that reward, which isn’t bad, right? It gets like setting goals and challenging yourself and meeting.<\/p>\n
[0:28:44 Speaker 0] You<\/p>\n
[0:28:44 Speaker 1] know, your long term dreams like that’s great, But I do think there’s the habits that are incentivized on<\/p>\n
[0:28:51 Speaker 0] the<\/p>\n
[0:28:51 Speaker 1] way that sometimes make you really like. Forget that it’s not all you know like that there’s a lot more to you, just like if you know, even when we’re doing introductions, right, like you’re like, Who are you? I was like, Oh, gosh, Americans like go like<\/p>\n
[0:29:05 Speaker 0] And I’m one of those people that wants to know that because when I got students, it amazes me like I’ve been doing this for the better part of 14 years now. And the thing that continues to amaze me about higher education is that the names and faces change. But this stuff doesn’t change and you’ll sit<\/p>\n
[0:29:23 Speaker 1] down with one<\/p>\n
[0:29:23 Speaker 0] freshman and you’ll sit down with the next one the next year. And it’s the same thing that it’s like, Hey, tell me a little bit about you and it’s like you want to know me? Well, yes, because you’re more than that, Major. You’re in that future pursuit. Like, what are the things you like doing? And it amazes me the number of students every year. If I talked to 10 students during the first week of school, nine of those 10 are always gonna immediately go. Wow, that’s a good question. I’m like about the things you’re interested. Like you interested in this stuff your whole life? Like I can look on the computer and see your your your major and your hometown. I wanna know what’s interesting to you, and it’s amazing we put that stuff on the back burner, come to college and all we become is our is r E I D numbers are major and<\/p>\n
[0:30:10 Speaker 1] G p a your resume, right? Yeah. I mean, even entitles, right? Like for staff or for faculty, like so much we lead with. Well, here’s what I do for a living, right. But I’m not what I do like, I’m do what I do because I am who I am, you know, like and that’s part of why I’m in this position and in this field is because part of who I am is that I want to be a person who challenges myself. Thio, Thio. Think about well being. But I also want to create a world where it’s worked in you know where it Z not the back burner. It’s not the you know, it’s not left off. I love when I get resumes. By the way, when I hire students or staff and like in that section way at the bottom, people have started to add, which is like other activities or other interests on. I feel like sometimes I always want to start there to be like, you know, Portuguese. Like how that happened, you know, tell me about that or like you play the trombone like That’s cool. Tell me more.<\/p>\n
[0:31:09 Speaker 0] I hate the fact that we have We have to do those things, like looking in the margins. Uh, why can’t we start there like, let’s get the holistic of U S O wow you You I mean, this is gonna be a great episode. I can’t wait to get this out there for you. And I really hope people, when they’re listening, just know like the joy and the benefit of having somebody like Britney on campus and knowing that you’re here for the parents that are listening, Britney is absolutely a wonderful resource. Somebody that you obviously if you’re listening to this conversation, this is how we talk like this is not a script. This is not like this is just how Britney and I talk. And this is why I enjoy having these conversations. I want to shift for a quick second because, I mean, you do so much. But you were heading in a direction that I don’t want our listeners to miss. And you were going, you were going in the direction of the self talk. I want you to spend some time talking about the importance of this. And I’ll lay the context for why Dr Edwards, Isa consultant that we worked with in housing and dining gosh for the last two years. And he’s been wonderful for our residential curriculum and has been definitely a good colleague to go to as we’re trying to navigate these different terrain. And one of things he taught us a couple of years ago was that that self talk that we give to ourselves if we’re not careful. It could become mostly negative. And what we do is just like Oh man, you’re not working hard enough or hey, Britney is doing tick org’s and you’re only doing one and you’re struggling that Why is it that a lot of us default to negative self talk with the hope that it’s going to inspire us to do positive things?<\/p>\n
[0:32:59 Speaker 1] Yeah, I mean, that’s gosh, that’s a big question. And I should also put out there that I think that there’s a lot of people from different disciplines that would answer this question really differently. This is just the Britney O’Malley response. Um, you know, I again, I think that we well, there’s a lot of influences that whether that comes from right like people’s upbringing, people’s family like those messages that becomes self talk often where someone else’s words to begin with right, whether they were set out loud or whether they were implied by the way that you retreated or that you experience the world, whether you were bullied at school or or things happen, like I think there’s a lot of those messages that come out and and kind of culturally like for a media, you know, we start to set expectations of what certain experiences they’re supposed to look and feel like. College is one of the big ones, right? Like we get messages from movies and media and music and our siblings. And, you know, the friends that go before us before we even start to think about Was college going to mean for me, Right? So I think that a lot of the self talk starts outside of us, and then we take it and we make it really on Ben. We repeated enough that it seems riel, Um and I don’t think. And that’s not Thio. And that’s to say that it’s deep, you know, like it’s it’s not as easy as telling someone to stop doing that. You know, don’t talk to yourself like that. Even I earlier said, like, Talk to yourself like you, your your best friend. That seems that’s a really simple thing to say. What is really hard todo on? I’m in that field, right? Like I tell people all the time, we can give people all the knowledge about how a certain health behavior is bad for them, and it doesn’t mean they’re not going to do it right because you have to translate knowledge into, like the rest of you and your experience, and that’s a bigger jump than just turning it off. And that’s why I also think, you know, self care as a term gets thrown out a lot. And it sounds<\/p>\n
[0:34:51 Speaker 0] so there I was just making<\/p>\n
[0:34:52 Speaker 1] a e<\/p>\n
[0:34:54 Speaker 0] go there for a second because that’s the thing that we absolutely throw this term self care out there. And one of the things that ends up happening is is that if you’re paying attention to it on Instagram and people are like on the beach with their feet propped up and like self care, that can be good. But then I also see folks that indulged in other behaviors that you know too much of A good thing could be a bad thing, right? One of things that we are challenged were challenged with as a society. Is that because we have a social media, uh, fascination, it can lead you to believe that I’m not really doing self care. If I’m not having Mimosa, brunch is every Saturday and Sunday or I’m not really doing self care. If my we’re not getting our hair and nails done.<\/p>\n
[0:35:42 Speaker 1] Facemask things. Yeah, like<\/p>\n
[0:35:46 Speaker 0] my wife and daughter. The other a. My wife and daughter were doing this. You know, this is my daughter Saw this, uh, face face mask. Big YouTube the other day. I e loved it, but at the same time, I’m like, what am I creating? I’m like, am I creating the expectation that she’s not pampering herself for doing self care? She doesn’t get to do that a little bit about what is And if you feel comfortable doing so what, it isn’t because what I what I want to be more responsible about is when I tell students and and my friends and everybody else about self care, I want to talk about it in a way that is not rooted in shame and guilt. And I also want to do it in a way that doesn’t lead them thio over indulgence and already somewhat negative or toxic behavior.<\/p>\n
[0:36:42 Speaker 1] Right, Right. Well, and I should just put out there I’m on Instagram lover, right? So I follow, like also I see those two, but I also think that there’s a lot of positive counts out there that are trying to reframe and show more rial nous in ways. And I think that that’s really cool. Thio, Um, what’s all care is and what it isn’t I mean at its base. It’s not to do the like word breakdown thing. It’s caring about yourself, caring for yourself, right in the simplest form of it. It is making sure that you are. You give yourself a priority, like and and a lot of that is about being able to listen and hear and digest what that means for you, what do you need? You know, um, and sometimes you need some pampering. You know, like I’ll say, like, That’s one of my new favorite things during this time has been that I’m not going to go out and get my nails done already things. But I found these little practices at home that makes me feel, you know, nice. And that’s cool. Um, but you know what I think? What it’s not is it z not something that has to be a cultivated, expensive experience, you know, like it doesn’t have to be, um, we talked about time like it doesn’t have to be a spa day. I know we keep doing spots if, but like, um, it doesn’t have to, you know, like, self care doesn’t have to be. One thing, I guess is really the like thing it is is, um, it can be simple. It can be a tiny practice. It could be a really large practice. It can be taking a vacation, right? That could be self care. But I think the practice is about<\/p>\n
[0:38:25 Speaker 0] but if I’m not doing it right, I don’t take a vacation because somebody out there is wondering that right now. If I’m not no e patient, am I doing self care wrong?<\/p>\n
[0:38:34 Speaker 1] I can’t answer that. Like I also I don’t play video games. Right? Your video gamer, right. So who am I to be, like video games like, how is that self care? Right. But for you, that might be something that really like that gives you a brain break. It helps you be creative, you know, whatever draws you to it. Andi, I think that that’s like, does that mean I should play video games? No. It just means that you found a practice that, like, works for you. Now I think that the like thing I see. And I think again pack to this culture thing is that we treat self care like we treat everything else, which is either we don’t do it, we don’t do it. We don’t do it until we have Teoh, right Tell the bottle explodes on, then that’s when I think those self care kind of binging happens that you’re talking about, where it’s like I’m gonna watch 19 hours of Netflix now, you know, like or like now, instead of a couple of days off. I do need, like a month off, you know, and I think that that’s more of a symptom of the fact that we haven’t found the other. The micro practices toe balance. The bigger practices. Like I think there’s there’s like this way that you have to kind of build it in and then also save up sometime, or some spaces where you do the bigger things, too. But, you know, it’s like I always go back Thio when I talk to students about this, the Netflix thing, for example, students. When I asked what you do for self care, so we’ll be like I watch Netflix. I’m like, That’s awesome. What shows do you like, do into? And you know, they’ll say this. They’re like, Yeah, but you know, what actually happens is like myself. Care is like, I’ll think I’m gonna watch, like, one episode and then all of a sudden the like, Are you still watching? You know, and and they’re like in all of a sudden it’s five hours later. But then I also haven’t done the paper. I was supposed to start where I did this other thing I missed out on, you know, my friends dinner because I just, like, couldn’t pull my way. And I was like, Well, that doesn’t sound like self care anymore, right? Like that sounds like something that now is like not refilling you. It’s now than taken away, and I think that that’s where it’s easy to believe that one practice is always gonna help you refresh. Um, but sometimes the way that you use that practice might not. And so being able to adapt that to say, How do we do that? We’re just not really good with like, you know, boundaries were not talked to be good with boundaries in a lot of ways. On that includes self care right, Like we’re not good at setting self care boundaries. Just like we’re not always good at setting other health boundaries or other time boundaries or relationship boundaries. Because no one really, ever tells you How do you do that? How do you navigate that?<\/p>\n
[0:41:11 Speaker 0] That’s good, I think. Yeah, I’m not I’m not even believing nailed it. You said it. And I think it’s good practice. And I hope that everybody listening takes these things into consideration. I think the last question that I wanna ask you here because the time has certainly flown. My goodness, what I wanna ask you about you talked earlier about access safety on relationships right now because of this pandemic, Every student I’ve talked to, whether they’re in high school, middle school elementary, definitely here in college are struggling with the relationship building aspect because nobody knows how to do it right now. Because it’s like you say, Well, why don’t you all set a zoom meeting and a couple of you all hang out there? Tired of zoom? Hey, get on discord And a lot of them are already on discord, and they’re just like, hey, but I’ve got other things I need to do, and I could get lost in discord or I don’t really know how to work that platform. People are struggling with building community in college. Folks like myself who worked at the university who are responsible for engaging these students, are struggling to figure out what’s an experience that can be safely done. That means something to them on DSO building relationships and community is Mawr difficulty than it’s ever been? You know, I was on campus working yesterday, and I met with some colleagues across campus and I just said, I’m lost because my personality is I’m an extrovert. I like being out and about. I’m used to meeting with students during this time of year. I’m usedto going and presenting in classes and doing different student or meetings. And I’m just, you know, at a loss for how toe build community, especially with these new students. And more importantly, my heart is going out to those students who aren’t physically here and engage in that community. What advice do you have for folks like me and students that are looking and longing toe build those relationships but aren’t sure even where to start?<\/p>\n
[0:43:15 Speaker 1] Yeah, I mean, that’s e think you name it. We’re all struggling with it. It’s not a, you know, kind of a universal experience that we’re having in some ways is beautiful. Because how often do you have a universal experiences? But in some ways is really, really hard Because no one has the answer, right? We’re all just make it. We started this day, this conversation before we start recording with we’re all just making it up as we go along, right? We’re trying to figure it out day by day. Um, you know, I think I always think it’s easier with anything to start small, right? Like if you’re really seeking connection, it doesn’t mean you have to go all in on, like, every zoom opportunity ever or, um, every, you know, like you don’t have to call every single or text every single person on your phone list, right? Like start small like, Is there a person that I always say is there’s already a person in your life, You know, that makes you feel like when you leave a conversation, you feel a little bit better about the world. Uh, start with them, right? Like if you’re really feeling that los, like start with someone that you already have in your circle. Um, because likely you’re gonna feel more optimistic and excited about engaging in the spaces that are a little more unknown if you feel a little more kind of replenished from that other person. So and that could be a couple of people, right? It could be your roommates. If you have a couple of roommates, it could be your parents. It could be, you know, like your significant other, um, it could be a text and email or call of zoom. Whatever works for you, I think Start small, let yourself feel that connection again in a way that, you know, is reliable and then that gives you a little more to move forward within those spaces. Like a class where you’re like, I don’t know anyone in the zoom face, you know. But maybe they do a check in and you hear someone say interesting. And you’re like, Okay, today’s today. I’m going to do a little chat to them, and I would be like, Hey, I also like, you know, X, um, I meet you, you know, like, right, right? Yeah, because that’s scary. It’s scary to put yourself out there. Yeah,<\/p>\n
[0:45:22 Speaker 0] and now more than ever, we’re all trying to figure out, like, Okay, what is putting myself out there? Looked like, if I was you know me. You know, I’ve always been a bit of a extroverts. But college was where I made the shift for really like, freshman year. I made sure that welcome week at Abilene Christian University in 2002. I was like, All right, I am not gonna be high school Brandon anymore, like this is. I went by my initials B. J for the first couple of weeks. I’m like, I’m going to reinvent myself, making new personnel on, you know, And suddenly I was this outgoing, extroverted person, and I’m going, Yeah, too much like this six months ago. But now this is who I made the decision to be, and I think a lot of students are doing that exploration, and I think that that’s the thing that’s different. Right now, exploration is different in a pandemic,<\/p>\n
[0:46:17 Speaker 1] and I think again like if you’re ever whoever you are, if you’re in a position where you’re able toe, open up a space for some connection. Um, even if it’s not a like how you normally do things right, if you’re a student or leader or for you within you said within your department or, you know, with your family even write like my cousins and I early on did a group like Zoom. We’ve never done that. Like, you know, we’ve known each other our whole lives, and we’ve never lived all over the country from each other and never connected in that way, you know? But someone made that first move to say, Hey, all like, we have a Snapchat group and they were like, What if we do this? And I was, like, so grateful Someone brought that up because it wasn’t our normal practice, and someone took the initiative. Be like, What if we try this? What if we try something different? So if you’re in a whatever circles you’re in, you know, embrace the idea that there probably is an underlying unspoken, universal experience of wanting more connectedness, but people aren’t going where to find it. So if you have an idea or you can open up a space for it, be that person be the change, you know, like create a space where you’re like, It’s not about the class. We’re just gonna have the zoom room for 30 minutes today where if you want to show up people, people who are there are there because they want to just talk with other people. Like that’s the only expectation of this space today. You know, that’s I feel like if I was a faculty member, maybe if I had that ability, maybe I could create a space like that, You know, um because I think that that invites people in right. It makes it It validates that we’re all looking for it. It creates options that are big and small and involve a lot of people or one person. And it also just helps us all like, be creative and make it work, right? Figure out<\/p>\n
[0:48:03 Speaker 0] interesting. You say that for faculty. Because when I was when I taught my class in the spring, you know, the pandemic hit midway through, and so I met with my students on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. But when I transitioned online, I pulled the Friday day of instruction and I used that as the office hour. And so what I would do for that one hour every Friday is I just log in and I set up my computer and people would come would come. And I was amazed at the depth and the level of conversation that came from that because I had students that they just wanted to talk. They don’t wanna talk class. They were just like, I just want to process these recent events that are going on in the way. It would be naive that you know, the death of celebrities, even like with Chadwick Boseman passing the other day. Uh, you know, Kobe Bryant passing at the beginning of the semester. I made it a point early in the spring to say, like, look in this class, I’m not gonna not gonna come before you all naive about the world around me. So I’m gonna check again and going. Hey, I’m aware that this happened in Austin this day. I’m aware that this is what’s going on this group If if we want to reserve some time the 1st 20 minutes or so takes up class. Here you go. Also Friday here in my office hours. And here’s the one you’re more than welcome to attend and you know you get credit for, you know so<\/p>\n
[0:49:24 Speaker 1] and I want to name something this could lead in the whole thing. And maybe there’s part two down the road. But I wanna name and like, recognize something you said, which is grief, right? Like there’s great from like, you know, from the passing of people from there’s a huge grieving process that’s happening, of letting go of what we thought campus would be and feel like right now, not just for students, for me, too. I’m going like I’m not in my beautiful office space with my colleagues, and I don’t get to be around students every day, and I am a huge. I have personal experiences with grief and grieving that makes me very passionate about naming it and creating space for it and to recognize that grief. I always say grief is another one of those words. That’s a really complicated set of emotions and experiences that we put. I was like simple word on, but really is really deep and meaningful, and I think that part of that longing for connection right now is part of understanding and keeping space for that, and I think that’s really, really important. Like you offering that space or, um, you know, finding ways to check in on people like we said earlier, like asking someone how they’re really feeling, Um, they might not name it as grieving they might name. They don’t honestly, It’s also okay to be happy. Sometimes you might have a really good and that’s part of for me, like grief to is like Understand, you could be happy and also like longing for other things that don’t exist anymore at the same time, eh? So I think that that’s, ah, huge and again culture just around it out or not, a culture that is good at understanding or helping people or validating grief. We’re not good at it. We don’t give people tools. We don’t. We feel like people should get over it. On DSO. This time of global grieving is a time where it’s even harder to be able to feel valid in your emotions and your experiences and take care of yourself in that you know and and find space. So I I just have to name that because it’s like a pet project for me, like a passion area on and I think it does connect the well being and self care, too, you<\/p>\n
[0:51:28 Speaker 0] know? Yeah, we’ll definitely have to do, Ah, season a episode a second round two of this because that conversation is definitely one that you’re right. We have to do a better job of because it looks different for different people. And it looks different in different cultural groups and totally this unanimous season of grief that we’re all dealing with but may not recognize. That’s also that there’s a not necessarily a skill. But there are some tools that, as you said, I love the way you articulated that there are some tools that we could take advantage of to help and some skills to take advantage. Navigate that. So thank you for naming that. And I really do hope that everybody listening is taking the time to do that in a way that means something to them on. Of course, you know, recognizing that there are resource is and folks like Britney out there that can, you know, talk with you and help you through it before I let you go. Are there any things you want to share with our listeners? Any updates, anything any fun things coming up or any projects, Anything major happening in the life of your<\/p>\n
[0:52:37 Speaker 1] mom and in general in the world? Well, for our office, Bank on Wellness center, you know, this is our job. We’re here to help figure out how to get people, tools and spaces and and start conversations. And so I encourage people to check out our website. But also, we have some really specific resource is for groups to this semester. Some, like a whole virtual menu of options, from asynchronous to activities you can take for your group to live kind of zoom opportunities where we can facilitate for you. So, you know, we can help create some of those spaces where that’s what we’re here for. Um And I think just in general that if if anyone out there has ideas about what they think could help right now, come talk to me. My door. My virtual door is always open. And I love having conversations. Clearly, I love having conversations. Oh, yeah, You can email me. Um, should I say my email? Is that<\/p>\n
[0:53:35 Speaker 0] okay? I’ll put it in the liner.<\/p>\n
[0:53:37 Speaker 1] Sure. It’s B o malley b o m. A l L E y at austin dot utexas dot e d u. You can also find that information on our website as well. Um, and also I just want to give a shout out because I help oversee our social media for healthy horns were really trying to incorporate messaging to promote well being. So if you like social media, if that’s your thing, follow us. Kind of see some of the messages were putting out there. We put out some important cove in 19 message, but we also put out a lot of time and prompts to, you know, take space for yourself and practice self care.<\/p>\n
[0:54:10 Speaker 0] Wonderful, Wonderful. Listen, Britney, thank you so much for coming on the show today. We really appreciate you and you have yourself a wonderful day way. Hope you enjoyed today’s episode to catch the next installment. Be sure to follow us on Spotify, apple podcasts, Google podcasts and stitcher. We’ll see you next<\/p>\n"},"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/24\/2022\/03\/LIVE-logo-TPN.png","download_link":"https:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/podcast-download\/95\/episode-8-overcoming-grind-culture-w-britanny-o-malley.mp3","player_link":"https:\/\/podcasts.la.utexas.edu\/live\/podcast-player\/95\/episode-8-overcoming-grind-culture-w-britanny-o-malley.mp3","audio_player":"