Episode 6 – The Closest Thing to Magic: An Interview with Rocky Lane

Jo: [00:00:00] Welcome to audio QT. Karma Chavez has very kindly allowed me to usurp her usual position as hosts. I am Jo Hsu. I’m an assistant professor of rhetoric and writing here at UT. I’m also affiliated with the LGBTQ studies program and a member of the center for Asian American studies. Today I will be guest hosting this episode for our special issue, that I’ve also guest edited on transgender rhetorics.

I’m very excited to have with me as a guest today, Rocky Lane, who I’ve been wanting to meet for a while. So I love that we’ve had this opportunity. Rocky is a creative entrepreneur and advocate. He was raised and currently lives in Austin and has spent his life devoted to community. And because he’s a black man of trans experience, a wellness professional, and a loving husband who his partner, Sarah.

And together they have immediate and consulting company called Swirl Baby LLC. Rocky’s resume includes a wide ranging amount of experiences in health, wellness, entertainment, and entrepreneurship. He’s a media creator, a creative consultant [00:01:00] and advocate and a community engagement and inclusion specialist.

His industry experience ranges from a certified nurse assistant to city of Austin paramedic to his current work. As a wellness provider, his goal is to help create a thriving trans and gender diverse community. Rocky is the former board chair for transgender education network of Texas. He’s a city of Austin, public safety commissioner, a member of the HIV planning council and a grassroots community organizer with Austin, black pride, black trans leadership of Austin and UTS population, health community strategy team.

I will also be sharing some links to Rocky’s social media, as well as the web page for project life raft is undertaking, um, so that you can go find them in the show notes. And with that, uh, let’s get onto the show.

to audio QT. I’m your guest host Joe Shu. And joining me today is Rocky lane. Rocky. Thank you for being here with us. So, uh, I’ll go ahead and jump in. I’m been looking forward to this [00:02:00] opportunity to meet you. So I’m glad we got this chance to connect since you’re involved with so many organizations.

I know I became familiar with the name because I keep seeing it all over the place, you know, on, on Facebook, on, all of the different trans and queer, uh, groups and networks around central Texas. I was wondering if you could, um, talk to us about what you see as the connective thread in all that you do, you know, Is the driving vision of the world or set of values that pulls you to the projects that you choose.

Rocky: Thank you for the question. I think that as a leader, one of the things that, uh, one of the through lines that keeps coming up and popping up is this concept that I believe that a lot of things are connected. It drives a lot of people in my life pretty to a place of annoyance sometimes. But I think that somewhere along the line, right.

So, uh, this, this comes up later, but I grew up in Austin. I’ve been in Austin A. Long time. And one [00:03:00] of the, I think community values of Austin is kind of this, everybody in everybody worked together, no matter who you are kind of vibe, but over the last. Decade or so I’ve seen this splintering of people, uh, where if they don’t see what they need in the space and the community then may kind of splinter off and do these pockets of care or pockets of.

Support that I’ve always found so important to like a healthy ecosystem in Austin. So like the ice storm brought us Austin mutual aids, you know, like we could see how Austin mutual aid worked really well to bring different bodies together, to kind of work through the ice storm before. Mutual aid networks have popped up everywhere.

And I think this like collective care model, you know, it’s probably like, like if I see a group that I really love and I think that they are coming from a place of like community [00:04:00] focus, uh, old, older Austin value. Uh, and if I think that they’re meeting a niche need, that is still not seen by the larger system.

These are some things that’ll draw me in, um, like a lot of. Consider Austin kind of a place where innovation is done. So I think that that’s the case in, in queer, uh, organizations and, uh, we’re some of the first organizations to introduce intersectional leadership. Like these are some things that I really love to see.

And often if I see it, I will go and support it. We will go and support it as a, as a business. And then, you know, I would say the other thing is that a lot of times. I think I choose things that are people of color focused because they’re, they’re just, uh, they used to be a lot more people of color and.

And it’s growing again, but often I think that that does hold a spirit of, you know, kind of like this [00:05:00] ancestor spirit of, you know, a village. Um, and it feels more, more familial, but not all the way. Uh, it’s still very much a business. Um, but I do love that and that connectivity reminds me of something I lost from my own culture.

So often I’ll kind of navigate into those spaces as well. I hope that answers your.

Jo: Yeah, absolutely. And it’s, it’s actually a great segue into my next question, which is I first encountered. , through black trans leadership of Austin, when you came and visited one of our UT Austin zooms, and that I believe was founded in 2020 during COVID-19 you were just talking about community care mutual aid.

Was that sort of the reason for this organization? How did it get started and how is it work may be changed in the following years.

Rocky: Thank you. I forgot to tell you before we recorded that, you know, I don’t. So I design a lot of leadership groups. Um, but as far as BCLA is concerned, I would be considered positioned as advisor and that [00:06:00] was purposefully. Um, so when I speak, I would like to also preface this by saying that I am not, um, the person that officially speaks for that particular group.

Um, but I am a part of that group and, uh, and they like to do their own press. So. What I’m going to say about this is kind of high level on why I thought it was necessary to have BCLA and then, you know, additional stuff. I would welcome everyone to go and check in with BCLA, uh, for some of their messaging, but, um, Yes, COVID-19 spurred the idea to create a black trans group that works together.

Instead of individually, it was born out of a little bit of chaos at the beginning of the COVID-19 response, where I was going into a lot of these food meetings, uh, food stability meetings, um, and sustainability work. I was going into housing stuff and not a single person was mentioning trans people.

Which we knew when I was working with tent and I was a board [00:07:00] chair. We knew that me coming on as the first black chair would create some waves and we weren’t really sure why. And now, as I’m working with CTLA, I kind of see why, but, um, but, uh, COVID-19 what we were running into as we were, obviously the data shows the city doesn’t really like to pay.

They pick, they pick their data, but the data shows that the majority of youth. Communities across Texas identify either as Katie BiPAP, um, or some, you know, you know, they are people with. And so what we were noticing is that a lot of people that were not people of color were getting all this help, right.

They were able to navigate systems. They were able to do all these things. And I had noticed it since a couple of years.

ago, when I started with tint that in central Texas, it was almost like a resource desert, even though we were listed as a very liberal area, people were moving out of other areas to come here.

But when you actually go and do something, let’s say simple, like as an ice [00:08:00] storm, we’ve got to move people to a shelter. Are the shelters gendered? Do they have gendered bathrooms? Do they have gendered places? People that go shower? The question, the answer to that question in Austin, Texas today in 2022 is they have gendered restrooms.

It is not safe for a lot of our community that is unhoused to be placed in those. And there has to be a middle. That helps to, uh, wrap that person in community care and move them through certain resources. We know that our community also identify sometimes as divergent or they have trauma, which will give them a Le a need, a higher need in an areas of crisis.

Um, but what we weren’t. Uh, in 2020 was any black trans people, invisible leadership to what do what I call beacon beacon people toward their current resources. It’s kind of like an, everybody on me situation, right? When like today you might notice that, like you said, all the Facebook groups, there’s probably people popping up on those Facebook groups.

Hey, I don’t have a house tonight. Hey, [00:09:00] can somebody get me some diapers, baby formula? Right. Um, but nobody was answering the trans black. People of color that I was seeing pop-up on mutual aid, whatever it was kind of, you know, maybe a random person outside of the community here, no care strategy. Um, and if people pay attention to, I think history will show that most black led organizations kind of rose to an occasion over this last.

18 months. Um, some of them that came out were not only BCLA, but also Austin Black pride rose to quite a bit of, um, some of the safety net work that needed to happen, including crisis response for rental assistance. Um, and BCLA was one of those that formed with them. What’s in the mirror formed around getting mental.

And BCLA kind of started to talk about things. Like what about housing? What about sustainability for our people that move here, or that have lived here? I work with a lot of people that were born in Austin, um, and that are getting moved out. [00:10:00] I’ve lost several leaders over the last 18 months who couldn’t afford to stay here, but they still work remotely on the future.

They want to see here. And so that’s kind of where BTL. Like why I asked those three to come together. And those three are Tabitha Hamilton lights, Milburn, and Naomi Wilson, who also came with me into, and people don’t remember Naomi Naomi was arrested, you know, several years ago, uh, protesting in Austin against, um, the use of.

Public school property for a policy about polit political, like I’m posturing. And Naomi was yelling at this guy being like trans lives matter trans lives matter. Cause they were saying all of this, you know, really horrible stuff about our kids. And now we see why Naomi was so upset. Right? Cause now we’re sitting in 2022, our kids can’t play sports.

Right. There’s so much going on and they only was one of those first. People that said we got to do better for black trans people [00:11:00] in central Texas. Cause Naomi’s from here. So that was kind of like my first, like we call it Canary, our first little tweet of like, oh, something’s going on? When we watch Naomi get arrested by APD and amend, subsequently be asked like, I don’t know how much we can say here, but you know, about what kind of, you know, just, just about really personal items that you might expect when you’re getting booked.

Um, You know, we knew that there was something wrong in the system. So around then, we had already tried to talk to the city, which all we tried already tried to convince them to change policies, make hurting trans people or hate crime, give us better, um, you know, facilities and things in public service.

And we weren’t seeing anything. So then I went to these other three and I said, I think we need the form. I paid $25 to form us into a nonprofit that allows us to bring on some money. We aren’t a 5 0 1 C3. So we kind of operate in this weird grassroots area, which, uh, built a [00:12:00] huge amount of trust. And. Um, that’s what I was hoping to accomplish with BTL was creating a bridge of trust, um, where people didn’t have to go to a non POC person to figure out what they needed.

And I think that that’s a, probably a pretty good reason why that got started, uh, around COVID-19, but it has exploded into this community care web. And more people coming out of the woodworks. I think we see more black people in the space. Now, more people of color in this space now of leadership. Um, and people kind of like now seeing the path, if you want this to happen, you have to go and do this.

So we went to the public safety commission and we we’ve spoke on the rights of trans people. We’ve gone everywhere. We can, as you saw, um, to all the students to tell them we are here, we don’t want them to worry. And I think that it just kind of was born out of this general love and mutual respect of each other and seeing us all struggle.

And when we started to work together, we started working on things like co-writing grants and things like that. [00:13:00] We were able to, instead of turning people away and saying, sorry, we can’t get you a hotel tonight. We have to figure out the voucher system for the city. We just started taking. Right. Um, which I think is, uh, a healing mechanism for us to, um, as people that grew up in this city, kind of like trying to make our own way and kind of like fit into the larger LGB, um, community.

Uh, and I think we are all feeling like, oh, we shouldn’t try to separate ourselves and only focus on black people, but everybody says that. And then you end up without, without black people with support. Right. So that’s kind of the long and short of what I thought was important about that for me.

Jo: Sure. Thank you. And so for our listeners, since we were talking about directing folks to BCLA, that website is btle.squarespace.com. And I will put that in the show notes. I want to actually dive into the. You being in Austin for a long time, since you’ve mentioned it several times now, and you said, uh, Austin is changing very rapidly.

[00:14:00] Demographics are changing. The affordability of housing is changing. So I’m curious if you can speak to, you know, what you’ve seen in terms of the transformation of Austin and how that’s affected trans and queer communities specific.

Rocky: Yeah. So I’ll say that when I was three and I moved here, um, Austin was, I went to a predominantly black school. Black and PLC school when elementary, um, I had my teachers, I had really didn’t really notice a difference from moving from Houston, where my mom went, um, to like my grandmother took care of us for a while.

We were kind of in between homes a lot and. I felt like it was a pretty diversity, more diverse than even Houston that, you know, you can kind of, they used to call it a melting pot, you know, uh, they used to like really be excited about calling Austin and Melton. Bob and I got went through middle school, high school.

And it stayed the same. Right. Um, and then somewhere around when I went away to college and [00:15:00] came back, I noticed, oh wow, we have a really big tech boom. Um, that’s happening. And that’s bringing in people that are, for some reason, it’s not bringing in a lot of people of color. And when I moved back after college, I started working as a paramedic and I got to go and be a.

You know, answering nine 11 calls and seeing kind of the state of one side of Austin, which used to be all of Austin, but they kind of started to slowly, just only concentrate on certain sides, east side, down south, and then like started seeing the condos go up. Right. Started seeing old staples closed down that we used to go hang out at.

And I thought, okay, well, you know, maybe we’re just. Fresh blood, but then it kind of converted to something different, kind of like they were trying to make Austin A. Little more, uh, of a cultural center of entertainment. And all this south by Southwest came out fantastic Fest. I was like our , all of these things came out that made Austin, like the number one place where people didn’t [00:16:00] move.

Um, and as that started happening, prices started to raise. And so, you know, things like me losing my first home, my first condo, um, things like not being able to keep up with like prices of parking like that. I think prices of parking went up with like when I was a musician in town, like first and I was like, oh dear, like I have to pay like 30 bucks to park for a few hours.

You know, like little things like that that are like really unsustainable started happening. Like kind of like gay bars started closing, right? Like, cause there used to be, it didn’t used to always be forestry. It used to be like, um, fourth and eighth and like a couple of little spotted places up and down sixth street that were kind of like for us, you know, but there are also really, um, affluent white communities that would usually own these spaces.

So we would go in there, but it wasn’t like it was a space for us. And there wasn’t an Austin Black pride for a long time. There wasn’t even an Austin, Latin pride, a Latino pride or any of that. Um, [00:17:00] and then apparently this whole time, all go and out youth have been like around helping youth and, um, all go really focuses on people of color, um, queer people of color.

And they’ve been around for like, It’s like 38 years something I’m 39. I just turned 39, you know? So like they must’ve, I must have moved there the year that, you know, people had all go decided to inform. And so it’s not that it wasn’t present, but I will tell you, like going to school there, wasn’t like a GSA that I, that I.

Could honestly say, oh, I can go join this and talk about being queer. A lot of people that I knew growing up here were people that were not out publicly. They would talk to each other and amongst each other, a lot of us formed on things like basketball teams, right? Like, um, like just finding. And, um, it wasn’t until I went away to college that I really started to enjoy things like pride, things like that, because I don’t even remember when they started the pride parades [00:18:00] in Austin, but I remember that it wasn’t until I was a paramedic and I was walking with the ambulance that I got to go and actually experience pride.

And I think that was from a place of, I felt safe. Right. I felt like a guardian of the community. I felt like I can go out there and show, you know, like, Hey, like there’s queer people that work at. Organization, and that’s kind of what it was like, but it was still very. Pride, um, what do they call it? Capitalism.

It gives like, you know, like, like Geico loves gays, you know, like exactly. Thank you very much. Thank you. That’s what it is. And so, you know, it was that it was a thousand percent that, you know, um, uh, and that I think everywhere was that right. And especially in the nineties, uh, but we still didn’t have any censoring of, we didn’t have a lot of people moving from one.

New York or Philly or other like queer centers into Austin. And then slowly I started to see them trickle. And a lot of times when we see that it’s because they see a need for our youth, our young people to have more [00:19:00] of our community like descend. And so I would say over the last couple of like maybe 15 years or so, I’ve seen like a person move from Cali into this space and try to start, um, you know, a new.

Or try to start in, uh, Austin Black pride was started by somebody who moved out of town from out of town into this space, saw that there was no black pride in Texas, which is a brand black pride is a brand. Um, and they were like, yeah, let’s just start Austin Black pride. And it exploded, right? Like more than we’d ever seen from all go, which is kind of like more community focused, you know, care kits.

And a case management. It was like people wanted to party, you know, they were, for the first time they were able to walk into a bar, right. Drop, you know, it’s always begins in like a bunch of queers and they’re just like, you know, booty dancing. And it felt very, like, almost like Houston and Dallas had descended on Austin.

That’s kind of in, and in Austin, we’ve had this push pull. There used to be like the relays. I don’t know how long. I can’t remember how [00:20:00] long you’ve been. You said you came back and forth, but they used to be Texas relays. Right. And when black people used to descend on Austin, it used to be all this hubbub, right?

Like, oh, we’re going to have so much crime. We’re going to have so much problems with these folks. Then it always happened the same time as rot rally. And I’m like, how can you tell. You know, like, like we just have a lot of people in town. You don’t know if it’s the black people or not, you have no idea, but people would just be so up in arms seeing all these black people come and then people just kept doing it.

Right? Like, like I think people saw that people were resistant and they just kept doing it. So I slowly saw people like Sheldon from black pride, move into town, uh, and just make bank. You know what I mean? Like you put a. You put up a ticket price for Austin Black pride right now, like we are going to sell those tickets.

Um, even in the middle of a pandemic, people were going, you know, it’s like, because, um, being in black community is so, so important to folks. And when we started talking to them about what they. W why they waited until then to start showing themselves. They were like, I honestly was culture shocked. [00:21:00] People would just keep saying like, I’m culture shopped here.

Um, you know, uh, I didn’t even know there was queer people here because there’s no rainbow flags flying. You know, we like just got our first rainbow crosswalk, you know, it’s like Austin is weirdly CD about like, like shady about what they want to explain about queer queer culture. Um, and so, you know, I think.

But what I’m seeing now is kind of this unapologetic queer POC QVB BiPAP community, start to move here and kind of make that money.

Jo: Yeah, I, I appreciate that because you’re sort of telling a story about the changing and evolution of Austin that you don’t hear as much, so much. We’re often talking about Silicon valley and, you know, tech and stuff like that. And we don’t talk about the evolution of the queer community and the arrival of more, um, QT, POC, LGBTQ folks.

Rocky: Yeah. I think a lot of people are happy to see it, you know? Cause they’re kind of like they’re in their sixties now they’re losing, you know, and they, they think that they’re the last [00:22:00] ones that are going to live here. Uh, and then they see something like black pride pop up, you know, in the last couple of years.

And they’re just like, I don’t know. I think a lot of people were like, why didn’t I think of that? Which is great. You know, I

Jo: Sorry. So, uh, so most of what you do is about listening to the community, finding community, finding the need, and you know, working in community to us to address that need. I know that you have project a life raft, which is a relatively new undertaking. Uh, could you say a little bit more about.

Rocky: Yes. So project life raft is just a way for me to describe the things that my partner, Sarah and I do as a business, as a, as entrepreneur entities, as entertainer entities to do this coalition building and formally. Uh, why I had to make this it’s because as you’ve mentioned, I consult with most people that have something to do with specifically trans work, but specific, like, um, now it’s turning into POC, cutie, BiPAP work.

Um, and that has a lot [00:23:00] to do with, um, my position. But yeah, like what I was starting to realize is, uh, this is, this is brought up a lot and I think it’s important for young people to know something that’s also happening in Texas is people are not being paid with actual American dollars. They’re being paid digitally through things like gift carding.

And so when I, like we talked about an honorarium, right? Um, like a lot of times it’ll be a $25 gift card and you got to get on digital and all this kind of stuff that. That has changed and it takes a lot to change it. Number one thing you have to do is start a business. Um, so what is unknown in white community that the LGBT plus.

Is that a lot of people when they get all these requests for, can you come talk about inclusion? Can you talk about queer politics? Can you talk about this? Uh, we can give you a $25 honorarium, you know, will that work, you know, and it’s, you know, several hours of work, most people have turned on to becoming consultants in the space.

So they will list themselves as a consultant to build a business or [00:24:00] build a project that allows them to take this money in. And then, you know, As far as project life raft goes we’ll, we’ll co-write grants with groups that don’t normally work together. So the last grant that we wrote, which is very relevant to today is the winter storm kit, uh, winter storm relief grant.

Um, we actually hit the same grant three times from three different organizations. Um, and that was because project life raft alerted all three relevant organizations to the fact that winter storm money was coming. And that takes a lot of, like you said, listening to community, knowing who’s ready, who’s got the staff to take something like that on and making good, good partnerships out of large organizations and grassroots ones.

And when we started doing that, we were able to raise the 30,000 that you’re seeing go into the community. Right. Like if people ask right now, 18 months ago, when we had a nice, or a year ago, when we had a nice storm, 18 months ago, when COVID hit, you could not call a place and get a kit that would bring you, you know, warm food, warm [00:25:00] food, water, clothing, you could not call anybody.

You could maybe drop into out youth. They might have a few things, but they wouldn’t have some of the additions that were added. So when we saw that first and second and third crisis hit, we started, um, helping project life ref would go and help say, Hey, we think that this group and this group, so it was Austin, black pride embrace and out youth, we think all three of you need to hit the same ground.

And then combined once you, once you’re awarded, combine that effort and work together to tell the community, um, the other thing that project life rev does is provide clarity of the systems as they develop. So every time a new thing is. Um, like, uh, let’s say sex workers outreach project is about.

to start talking about surveying people that do that have to do transactional sex work, people that have to, um, that has to figure out their next steps over the next couple of years.

Uh, especially as everything’s going digital and especially as COVID continues. Uh, and that kind of work doesn’t get [00:26:00] supported unless somebody physically goes and says, I see you’re working on this. Let me connect you to, let’s say the UT research team, right. That UT research team is going to be able to get y’all all the resources you need.

Um, so you don’t have to pay for your own zoom. You don’t have to pay for your own XYZ. Right. It’s filling in those gaps.

Jo: Yeah. Well, so we just touched on, you know, sort of somewhere else that you have a foot in, you’re sort of a Jack of many trades. Uh, you are involved with UTS population, health, community strategy team. Um, what’s your role there and what are you working?

Rocky: And I will tell you that this is, this is probably starting coming from the fact that I was because of my position at tent and the work that tent does and a regional and state and national level. Um, I’m one of the few visible black trans people in the city, which means. If we don’t have black trans people at a table, a lot of us across the state get assigned times a billion things.

So when you say like I’m in everything, [00:27:00] this is the reason for it. Um, and it’s really more to make Sure. that we’re getting the messaging that we’re hearing from the community all the way to the final decision making process. I think community strategy teams saw what we were doing with project life rafts saw what I was doing with BCLA and all those groups.

And they were asking me, and I was originally working at the medical school as a fake patient. So. Medical students may not know this, but you know, the, the medical school has been kind of sneaking in interesting type style patients that people may not be familiar with, like trans people for a little bit.

Uh, and, um, and a lot of times people don’t know they’re working with a trans person. They don’t, you know, and, and we’re kind of secret shopping them for like, are you asking pronouns and stuff like that? Uh, and I think that that work really interested in. And that I was already present around the medical school and community strategy team, I think is interested in bringing me four.

They [00:28:00] only choose nine leaders from the community. And the one before me was Priscilla Hale, who is, was the executive director of algo. So if you see all the things that Priscilla has done, you know, with these positions, uh, I think. Their hope is that we can, we can use community strategy team to communicate what we’re missing.

Um, like here’s a good example. It’s trying to create these informal coalition bodies the same way I just described, but through different leadership pillars. So let’s say a black man, a black consist man has never talked to a black trans man. Community strategy teams would give us an opportunity to be in the same room to zoom together and discuss things that align us like prison.

But without the community strategy team, you know, like thinking about that and it falls under health and wellness because it’s a, it’s a disparity, right? It’s a, it’s a health disparity in general. So we’re looking at oppressions and we’re looking at how [00:29:00] we can kind of use what black community has learned to apply to trans community.

And it’s a lot of very, I’ve only been to three meetings so far. So what I hope it will be versus what it has been are two different things. But I think this is an attempt for them to bring this voice. Um, and start having larger, more robust conversations within not only the medical, but use the medical system to influence all of UTS culture and all of the city’s culture.

As we know, UT has a way of doing that. So I think that’s why they wanted me on the CST and I so far, it’s been really, really enlightening. I’ve met a lot of really. Really cool people, especially people of color just got the list that I’m at a name that, that CST is a bunch of really incredible people of color who have held it down for, you know, uh, without really any resources whatsoever.

And I think this was a, uh, a last ditch effort for UT to stabilize it. Um, so that we can hold it down until COVID, at least it [00:30:00] comes down a little so we can get to our VBA. Right. I mean, that’s where my guest is. I think they just want us there so they can stabilize this a little bit and develop the ideas better.

Jo: Sure. Yeah. That’s, that’s beautiful. And I really hope it goes in the direction that that you’re envisioning it. I want to take a moment and pause to just note that the role that you take that you’ve named in so many spaces, as one of the few visible black trans people, to be the sort of structurally marginalized person who circulates through these spaces is.

Both an active vulnerability and also an active care for our communities. Right? I’m doing this because I know this conversation needs to be had, because I know that I can engage and find common ground with these folks who might not otherwise have met, say a black trans person, but it’s also really demanding sometimes isolating work.

So I’m wondering, you know, how do you protect yourself at all?

Rocky: Thank you The first few years of leadership [00:31:00] where it really is. They say that they, they have this saying, I don’t know if you know this thing, but not all skin folk are kitten folk. Um, and so, you know, I made some mistakes early on thinking like, well, all I have to do is find other trans people or, you know, all the videos find other black people and they’ll protect me.

Um, but it would, this goes back to BCLA. This goes back to tent. This goes back to the fact that there are real people that I truly trust that I consider close friends that. I saw that I was trying to do something. And they said yes, to me. They said, we believe you we’ll, we’ll trust you. We’ll follow you.

And more than that will be a community. We’ll be in community with you. And I I’d like to say that, especially during COVID and the isolation of that I’m married. I have a wonderful partner. I have a beautiful life. It can still feel quite isolating for us as a family, to not have our community close, close, close by, especially when we’re seeing trans attacks and stuff like that.

And [00:32:00] things like BCLA meeting once a week, even on zoom, just to like work on things that we thought we wanted to see gave me a tethering sense of committee. In 2017 to Rick Daniels, um, he held a, uh, uh, this thing with BTech and tint and some, some of the leaders translators at, um, about how we protect trans women from, from harm, uh, in the next couple of years.

And that was the first time that I was able to meet people like Natalie from household LaPorte. And, uh, just other, other people that I really respect. All of our elders came in that space and everybody was saying the same thing. You know, uh, that they were isolated, that they weren’t sure where to turn, um, that they were deeply concerned that we don’t have a strong enough community.

Natalie turned around and started the very first trans pride that next year. Um, and it just has been shifting toward us, actually caring for it. Like I, I, my whole fit, my own family hasn’t cared for me the way that some of these, these community members have kind of shown up, [00:33:00] uh, you know, to hold space and.

Um, it just, it, it took away that that feeling that I’m doing this alone. And I think sometimes, especially when you talk about trauma and the trauma that our community, as a whole experiences, what we’re seeing in like certain spaces where people are like hyper individual and I’ll do it all myself, I’ll have all the ideas, I’ll come up with all the ideas I’ll implement it myself.

Um, it just spins people out of control and they eventually leave. But when it’s tethered me here is like people that I could sit there and talk to you and they see it. They’re looking at the same thing that I’m doing. and it’s not just that, that kind of thing is so, so important. That’s why I talk about why community first approach is so important, right?

Why, how housing first and building, you know, community within these homes and then resourcing the homes like we would see on, you know, ballroom culture I’m like on pose, you know, like w why we need to continue to, um, lean into what makes us feel good naturally. Right. I’m leading from a place of personal.[00:34:00]

Um, and when I see other people that are also leading her place, a personal need, it makes me feel less like a burden. It makes me feel less like, um, I have to do it all alone and it makes me feel like we are going to get somewhere eventually. Um, and there’s also this marketing tactic, right? That once you slowly see one or two people started doing something, it raises all these other people into the questioning.

Right. It brought you here to go. Why is this happening? Why are you doing all these things? Um, and it creates a buzz and a stir that I think is so important and, um, gives me, makes me feel like I’m actually doing something, you know, cause sometimes you can’t really be sure, uh, especially because especially when you start working on just black or just POC stuff, it can be very isolating from the white communities.

They don’t love that language. They don’t love feeling excluded. They’re also traumatized. So it’s just very difficult to find where you fit. Um, Uh, over time, I’ve built, I think a really good network of people that I think trust and respect me. And you, you see [00:35:00] them every day. I think, um, you, you see Mike, you pay a lot of attention and I think you see them everyday and, and slowly you’ll start to see less of me and means groups and more of them.

Right. And that’s, uh, um, Monica Roberts and other people of that age group used to see. That they really want to pass the torch faster. Right. We can’t go 30 years on one leader and, you know, so what does that look like? Um, and so this is what it looks like. I formed genuinely beautiful connections of solidarity, and I think that’s what ultimately.

Jo: Thank you for that beautiful lead in, into, uh, my final question that I wanted to ask you, which is, you know, I know that. And I believe it’s very important that we highlight all of the. Structural damage that endangers trans people, especially right now, I also resists sort of media narratives about trans people that are just about tragedy because it overlooks so much of the brilliance and the creativity and the genuine care that is part of trans community and trans survival.[00:36:00]

So on that note, uh, I wanted to ask you about trans care or trans joy. What’s an aspect of trans communities in Texas that you’ve experienced in that really energizes.

Rocky: Um, you know, this is, this is kind of what I known as. I’m the, I’m the optimistic leadership, right? I’m the one that came in and said, trans people are vibrant and joyous. And, and, um, we have the numbers here in Texas. There’s a lot of us and the joy. I think that people sometimes forget that I think is important.

I’m 39 years old when I was a kid and I didn’t want to wear dresses and I had no language. And I had no advocate. Uh, there was no joy and that is not where we’re at today. And I want people to [00:37:00] really sit with that fact, uh, we have a lot of work to do, but the fact that I didn’t even know that there was a such thing as a black transplant.

As a trans person, uh, you know, and I grew up in Texas and I went to the same public schools. Right. Uh, you know, like the joy is in the fact that this is our, this is our Renaissance. This is our moment to truly show how. We are so much more than a tragedy story. And that’s where the joy, like, I think the fountain of joy will always be that we are ultimately winning as we see our global community form, as we see, you know, uh, things that we never thought were possible.

I think, you know, I never thought testosterone, you know, would do what it’s done. You know, I’m dumbfounded if I’m being quite honest, you know, like, like, you know, and I’ve studied science all my life, you know? Um, The joy is in that we’ve removed the veil. The joy is in [00:38:00] that we are pushing forward with actual truth.

The joy is in that there is more of us that are ready to lead and have a better idea. And they’re farther along than the people before us. And we are hop, skip, and jump in our way into, um, a really, really vibrant and thriving future. Um, And of course it will be difficult, but I definitely think that we have to remember that we have, we are the, when they say we are our ancestors’ wildest dreams, that’s where the joy comes from.

For sure. For sure.

Jo: Yeah, I love that. I love that we are we’re living lives, that we couldn’t envision as children. We are embodying adults that we didn’t know existed, which is beautiful.

Rocky: Like it’s almost, it’s the closest to magic I can find. I can think of, you know, like, I feel like.

Jo: definitely the closest to magic I have ever experienced testosterone included.

Rocky: Yeah, the right. Like, I’m like, you know, like if people see me now, you know, like they’ll, they’ll see me after several years and they’ll just be like, I, I think I just wasn’t ready. You know, like there’s somebody there just like, wow, I don’t know that I was expecting it to look like this. [00:39:00] And it’s like, exactly.

You know, imagine what we will uncover next. But yeah. Thank you for these questions. This has been very beautiful.

Jo: Yeah, thank you for spending this time with us. Uh, our guest today has been Rocky lane. This has been such a good time. Uh, so thank you.

Rocky: Thank you.